Issue Number 10.

Our mission is to give you the latest information on how to raise self-reliant, emotionally healthy, highly successful children and to help you maximize the benefits of their participation in sports.

In the previous 9 issues you read a summary of what was probably the most comprehensive research on human motivation ever conducted. The author, David McClelland of Harvard, spent forty years deriving the GOAPE formula after studying the cultures of over 40 nations and analyzing the contents of some 1,200 children’s books to find out how the message each culture gives its young people shows up in long-term economic prosperity. All this work is out of print and, sadly, unavailable anywhere but this newsletter and my book for children, Jump Start. Go figure!

Next week I will give you the most useful method ever devised for changing behavior – a five step process created by the Cancer Prevention Institute at the University of Rhode Island. It will help you make any changes you wish to make in your life, as well as help your child.

In this issue I am going to take a little time out and actually critique what I have been sharing with you.

In teaching our children how to become more effective are we not leaving something out, like the whole concept of ethics?

It seems counter-productive to teach our kids to be high achievers without also teaching them to become good, moral people and to be of service to others. An example of this is an incident that happened the first week my son was enrolled in a small private school. A fellow parent confided to me that her son was being attacked each day by another student and, when she complained to the principal, the answer she got was: “What do you expect me to do? The kid who is attacking your son is so bright that he was accepted to Stanford.”

Let us never take it for granted that our schools are modeling ethical behavior for our kids. But if we can’t change our school’s values overnight, we can teach our children the ultimate stage in human evolution: the need to be of service.

Years ago, when I conducted a mentoring program for gang kids, I invited one of them, Edgar, to join my family on a camping trip. Edgar had just been shot and – if you will excuse the graphic description - his arm was almost severed by a large caliber bullet. Besides being in severe pain, he was deeply depressed. We found a place for him in our station wagon, gave him his own tent and sleeping bag, and drove off to Sequoia National Park.

After we unpacked I took a small hike by myself just to get road weariness out of my  system. When I walked back I was greeted by a disturbing sight. A family and their two sons was confronting my younger boy, accusing him of shoving one of their girls into the creek. The largest of the boys took a step towards Michael and started threatening him when Edgar arrived. The boy started cursing Edgar, using gang lingo, when Edgar, all covered with tattoos, shot back: “Don’t you use this stuff on me. I could teach all of you something about gang language. Now get out of here before I really get mad.”

That evening the ranger had to throw out that family when they started drinking and fighting among themselves. During the next few days we shared our life stories, meals and hiking trips. By the end of the trip Edgar had become like a member of our family. I persuaded him to get out of his gang life, and helped him get a job. I also taught him the GO APE method and, by following the steps and setting goals, he was promoted to supervisor and his pay doubled. I was among the first people he visited to proudly display his newly born son.

I speak from experience when I say that the greatest gift we can give our kids is, not just to do whatever it takes to get them a good education, but to make sure they use their gifts to help others and improve the world.

Are you willing to set aside a couple of hours one evening a week to turn around the life of a troubled teen? If you try it I can almost guarantee that it will change your life beyond description.

If you don’t know where to turn I strongly recommend an organization called MATFA started by Melanie Washington, a mother whose son was killed by a gang member and who later adopted the killer.  She now recruits people like you and I to go to juvenile facilities to mentor kids who never had the right role models.

To read Melanie’s inspiring story, check out her web site, www.matfa.org.
You can call her directly at (562)572-2898. She has been honored by many organizations, including the President, and tends to be busy.  But she always takes the time to speak to people who want to help.