Issue Number 24

Our mission is to give you the latest information on how to raise self-reliant, emotionally healthy, highly successful children and to help you maximize the benefits of their participation in sports.

How to Teach Your Child to Deal With Setbacks and Discouragement

In the previous issue I gave you a list titled “Top Ten Ways to Keep Yourself Motivated,” suggesting you post it on your refrigerator or other place where everyone can always see it.

Even people who are good at motivating themselves suffer setbacks from time to time. But, according to Dr. McClelland, there is a difference between the way high and low achievers deal with setbacks.

Here are some of the methods high achievers use to deal with setbacks:

• Find out what caused the setback.
• Make a plan to deal with the setback, including revising old plans.
• List new tasks in order.
• Keep the goal clearly in mind.
• Find and use sources of help, if necessary.
• Look for ways to increase information and strengthen skills as needed.
• Modify the goal, if necessary, to get around the setback.

Low achievers, on the other hand, tend to be defeated by setbacks and stop trying very hard. Low achievers often use some of the following methods when facing a setback:

• Give up.
• Try the same old methods over and over again instead of thinking of new and better ways.
• Get somebody to do the job for them.
• Believe it will work out anyway without doing anything to get it to work.
• Pretend the goal was not really important so that they can pretend they have not suffered a setback.
• Complain about unfairness.
• Blame others.
• Feel sorry for themselves.
• Feel they are not any good at anything, even though they may have achieved challenging goals in the past and know they have the skills.

At the risk of monopolizing your refrigerator space, I suggest you type out this list and post it there, right next to the list titled “Top Ten Ways to Keep Yourself Motivated.”

Please note that this list was produced by two of the world’s greatest researchers on motivation for kids. But if you are like me, you might find yourself identifying with some of these behaviors. That’s why helping our kids become better people is such a two way street, it energizes and motivates us to become better too, giving us a second chance at getting things right.

Want more success in your business or any other area of your life? Take just ten minutes to go over these lists again and see if you come up with ideas.